7 months pregnant ... Facing separation

[lost_hope]

I can't do it anymore. No more DBing while pregnant. It's demoralizing for anyone for reeks of a particular type of pathetic when you're 7 months pregnant and you have to pretend it doesn't bother you that your husband spends every waking moment away from you we you are carrying his first born. No pregnant woman should have to go through this. So I'm giving up on DB with the exception of some of the things I need to do to preserve my sanity and prevent arguments bc my son deserves a sane mother and does not need to hear a second more of his parents dumb arguments. I'm stuck bc I'm in a foreign country and my only alternative to leave him would be financially burdensome to us both and that ultimately takes away money from my child. So I'll stick around in this loveless, sexless, joyless marriage for a few Years until I get more used to being a mother and hopefully our financial situation improves. Maybe I will move into a house now so that I could divorce him later and make him leave and still pay half. I'm done loving someone who can't love me 7 months pregnant with his child. It's absolutely f-ing ridiculous. So that's all folks! my self esteem kicking in and reminding me that I don't need to chase a man, or trick a man into loving me by pretending I don't care. I do care. I didn't get married and pregnant to go slink off my myself and GAL. I live in a foreign country And moved here in my late 20s. Of course I depend on my husband to be my friend and support. I didn't get married to not at ILY or not ask about his whereabouts. It's totally disrespectful for a spouse to think he has free reign and can do whatever they want and not be asked about it. What if I go into early labour? I have no idea where he is most nights and according to 180 I shouldn't ask??? I'm done. In not in love with him anymore. It's just a combo of sick co- dependency, being in foreign country and real fear of single motherhood that is keeping me anchored. I wish with my heart that I meet an unmarried man to have an EA with. I don't even care anymore. I need a friend in he form of the opposite sex. Bc right now I feel like absolute garbage and the bottom of a shoe. Sad thing is I am pregnant can't GAL
Where I'd even have the chance of meeting someone now or in the near future and even when I get back to work I work in a small office with men old enough to be my father and then some. I am under no delusion that things are going to get better when this baby is born. He feels trapped now. How is he going to feel when baby is waking us us every two hours. Well all I can say Is the only thing I got out of this pathetic excuse for a marriage is my son and despite all the turmoil I will be eternally grateful.

Since it will be two days before this comes up and another two before anyone responds due to moderation I can't participate on here. I'm
Hurting and need support from this community. Moderation is not necessary and honestly my life is. A whirlwind right now. I can't keep up with this slow pace. So signing off folks. Good luck to you all!