Getting Uncomfortable

[mizjjd]

Thought for the day:

“If you don’t like something change it;
if you can’t change it,
change the way you think about it.”

~ Mary Engelbreit


Nope, can't get across the border without a passport

H returned late Sat night from casino...?

I returned from fastfoodland Sun to find him on the couch with red eyes. He'd been watching movies and crying. In response to my query he said the best he could figure was it was watching "family unity" and father/son stuff. I asked if he was seeing himself as the father or the son - he said both.

D18 is starting to have trouble at her job. Sad to say this is right on schedule for her. There is someone there being a b!tch she says. For D18, there always is.

I feel this is "her" but talking with H he says oh its just because she's so pretty, she's not a "factory" mentality. Sooo, what about the restaurants and retail jobs? Oh she just is better than all that - she needs to find a rich man to marry.

I see a correlation between H not taking responsibility for his own actions and his excusing of D18s behaviors. But strangely, the flip side of that coin is that H also thinks he's to blame for everything.

However all that adds up it equals to an unhappy person - for both H and D18.

And I still don't like him. Lol. Very strange. I am sorry for his anguish, but don't feel so moved to throw our history out the window and approach him with a "clean slate". No no no, umpteen times bitten umpteen times shy.

Ah well. 4th of July week! I get Thur off!!

And I'm posting a poll for my fellow DBers.

Should I go back to school? I am not sure it makes financial sense.

Right now, I absolutely cannot afford it.

I feel I should be putting away money so if/when H and I split I will have something in the bank.

To complete a degree would cost at least $10,000 and take probably 5 years. Meaning, I would be 50 years old and qualified to get jobs often filled by young 20 somethings.

As we all know, having a degree doesn't guarantee a job.

I can't help but wonder if I wouldn't be better off financially to just find a way to work more hours, pay off the house loan some, and put some money away for a "rainy day".

I would just be sick knowing I spent all that money (& time!) to get a degree that leaves me still working fastfoodland jobs - and that is entirely possible.

I can be a very good student and think I would enjoy going to school, but even to go one class at a time is more than I can afford right now. And going at that pace would mean I'd get a degree in probably 10 years lol.

So, I wondered what my wonderful insightful DBers thought?

Cheers!