Well, bummer. Apparently H's saying "I just want to feel closer to my W" is just code word for "I want to have sex." I'm absolutely not up for sex with him right now. In fact, this explanation came about when I tried to talk with him about my discomfort with his other physical affections (PA). I just don't want him kissing on me or touching me at all right now. I know I can't talk to him in a way that he receives well, so instead I read some quotes from a Gary Smalley book of his, which provided instructions to a LBS about appropriate PA in a sitch like ours. H still didn't take it well. He said that my rejection of his PA negated everything I did for him the last month.
So I'm trying to figure out whether to keep on course or to chuck any of my own efforts. If they can be negated with the first need/expectation I throw into the mix, I don't see that they can be that valuable to him. On the other hand, if I keep it up, then at least I don't have to hear about it. Either way, my 5-year plan is still intact. Just a matter of choosing which artillery to fend off.