Wild Horses (couldn't drag me away)

[ForeverYoung]

I cannot imagine, no matter how detached you are and how low your expectations, that what she said didnt hurt you and I am so sorry for that.

Amazingly, hearing the bomb drop all over again during the anniversary vacation did not hurt nearly as much as it did the first time. There was less conviction and more uncertainty in words. Besides, I pretty much knew it was coming and she really did need to release it.

RH: Thanks for checking in. Your sitch helps me to see what a reconnection might look like. It helps a lot!

I think she sees you as the pursuer and is pulling away as a result. You know how it goes. She is taking you for granted, like many people do with the ones who loved them the most.

I am giving W all the space and time she desires, no pursuing. You are correct though, she is taking my standing for granted. No way to change that without playing manipulative mystery games or issuing an ultimatum, neither of which will I do. W continues to keep me informed of her whereabouts; who she is with, what they are doing and when she will be home. Even calls if she will be late. Often tells me details about her time away and sometimes shows me pictures. My plan is to build on this, not destroy it.

Your W expressed how hurt she was and how no one knew what had really happened. What is she talking about?

From what the experts here have been telling me, it's all tied into the childhood sexual abuse she sustained from her older brother. Until she decides to get help healing from this, she will not be able to love me as H. Telling her she needs help doesn't work. I've hinted at this and she shot me down, so I won't do it again.

How are you doing Forever? How has your W been acting since your anniversary trip? I'm sure you're holding the walls of your marital fort together as usual!

I'm doing great Linda! Had a great Saturday with my best buddy, and then went out with W, Lil sis and her H Sunday. Will post more about this in my next thread. W is not acting much different than she did pre-anniversary trip. We've even had some days where she seemed to reach out to me a tiny bit.

Yup, I'm still holding the M fort walls together, and will continue to do so. I think the key is to get to a point where we can do this with as little effort as possible. I feel like I'm getting better at this!