Not New to This Anymore

[steveh27]

So an update.

the party went well ... the W went early because my son had a baseball game so we were going to be an hour late or so. The OM and his family were actually leaving when I got there. So it worked out I guess. Had a decent time and left the W to be social on her own and I hung with the kids and other parents from the team. Wasnt rude to W but wanted to only interact when needed and to not be up her azz, as she eloquently said once before.

Ok so I need some advice on the latest development. Had a convo that turned bad yesterday. We had a mediation appt on fri and there was an issue on length of maintenance support for her. The recommendation was 5 and I stayed at 3. I could tell she was taken back by that by her look. It was the only disagreement we had so far. Well she got home and put her rings away. I didnt say anything until yesterday about it when we decided to talk about it. She mentioned it and I just said I have been very good with everthing regarding the separation agreement but that is a decision im not comfortable making longer. Then I said we forgot to talk about OP being around our kids when separate. She quickly said no and got up and said something about having "ho-bags" coming over my place all the time. I was taken back and said really where the hell did that come from. She went upstairs and I stupidly went up a couple minutes later.

I said something about pointing fingers at me when ive been faithful in my M. She then said the OM is no longer in the picture. I nearly fell over. I knew she has been a terrible mood and sensitive the last 3 days and figured she was having a hard time with the sitch in general. She then said I probably already knew. I think she believes I still talk with the OMs wife but I stopped that a month ago as it was making me feel worse. This news has made me have false hope again and I both welcome it and despise it at the same time. This was news that came right beforw the party and I had tp leave tp bring my son to his game. I texted her at the game to and simply said ...

:I am sorry I questioned your judgement regarding having others around our kids. I know that made you feel belittled. I apologize. It was wrong. The comment you made back to me is far far from the truth and I think u know that. My heart is completely broken right now and that is not something that will ever fix it.

The comment was regarding the ho-bags.

Now the advice I need is I that want to slow down this divorce. We are getting the house ready to sell and I dont want to. We have another mediation wednesday and I now want to reschedule for a later date. Im conflicted on how to do this without pissing the W off. I did mention slowing this process down a bit today and she didnt get mad and she said she thought I wanted to speed it up because this is the first I brought it up. I simply said that is not what I want.

So a lot to digest and its made me question my path moving forward. I tend to see her struggle with this times also but then other times she seems committed to D.