Thanks 25. The weekend (even with the weather) has been awesome. My W is enjoying her break. Glad she finally sees that is what I was giving her not taking my kids hostage from her.
We had a blast and I made a decision and stuck with it and didn't back down to her mind games.
Sounds great. Just curious, how do you know your w is enjoying her break?
Anyhow, I just posted to Crimson about GAL.
I think IF there is a "secret" to getting thru this ordeal, it's to GAL>
helps detaching b/c it reduces the obsessing and anxieties
helps your PMA, b/c we have enough social awareness to know not to cry when we meet new people....seems awkward, you know?
Meeting new people and or
doing new activities keeps us stimulated in a good way that does NOT remind of us of "old times with x"
and
GAL with new people helps us keep the changes and progress we made.
WE backslide less b/c the new people in our lives have good expectations of us and we tend to live up to (or stoop down to) what is expected of us.
We see ourselves thru the new friend's eyes and we are NOT lacking...
So yeah, I say GAL.
With kids, and without.
Doing activities with old friends is comforting at first and makes sense.
But you can have an old friend do a new thing with you too...
and you can have, indeed you MUST have some new folks in your life who know you in an EE way (or something authentic like Al Anon, etc)
and connect with you and see your inherent value and unique traits.
So have fun with the kids and plan on some GAL this week...that's right...THIS COMING WEEK.
we all wanna know your next open mic, etc.
Why not try some stand up comedy? Buy Judy Carter's book on it. She's the guru of getting funny material that is YOURS, in the right format for delivery.
I am counting on this PON!
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
I know she enjoying break because she told me via phone. Monday nights I meet with sponsor which is nice breaks up week. Thursdays I have group meeting and open mic.
Taking kids without her this weekend was a huge gal weekend and we having blast even in rain
Hi PON... just popping in to say enjoy your weekend with the kids. Give your head a rest and just play with them!
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
Thx Gabby. Here is my day typically so you understand:
up at 545 am. Gym 630-8 am work 9-5 hour commute home at 6 pm Play with kids uptil bedtime 9 pm I goto bed at 1030 typically.
So it is very difficult for me to GAL outside of stuff like I did this weekend.
Monday's I am working my steps of recovery. Very focused on me and not her. My sponsor does NOT put up with my S H I T..
Thursdays I enjoy the meeting because I'm really making new friends all with common grounds. I try not to talk to much about my sitch but I do agree Thursdays tend to go that way.
Thursday nights are open mic nights. Absolutely love it. Playing in front of people again and meeting people who love acoustic guitar..
I will try to find another GAL activity but as long as I am home I can't just stick her with the kids at night after she is home with them all day long. It isn't fair or the right thing to do..
Interesting event. Her mother just showed up at vaca house. She asked my W to go and she said no that she was enjoying her break from kids. So she got in the car and drove to house.
I understand not to care what she is up to and honestly I haven't. The kids asked me to send her a few pictures of them on our boat. So very few text and none initiated by me. Always by her. Like hows the weather. I'd answer hour later. Great.. I don't know what the future brings and that is half my anxiety.
I'm trying to take one day at a time and sometimes for PON 1 hour at a time. All I know is this. I absolutely had a GREAT time with my kids this weekend and it was a sh it ty rainy weekend. We were out on the boat and the skies opened up and poured on all of us and we just laughed our azz es off..
AWESOME STUFF PON !!! Happy for you that you took a much needed break from your sitch.
Hope the week ahead is peaceful for you. AND without struggles.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
One thing I'm trying to do is live my life. Already told her I had Thursday and Fri off and was planning to head down vaca house with kids wed night . Not going to not let kids enjoy house cuz she wants a d this week and is unhappy . I can sometimes tell she is annoyed by this. I try not to talk like we have a future but act as if. I'm going u can come if u like.
It was tough coming back home after escaping crank pot for 3 days, u have this vision all will be good lol
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
I am starting to recognize that some of my talk is probably considered pursuit and pressure in subtle way .
We talked on phone and she said she really enjoyed the break from the kids. That she got into a pissing match with her mother because her mother is not very supportive and sort of puts her down.
She also txtd me her mother is her source of anxiety . She has said all these things before then spews. So zero I mean zero expectations .
Also pon struggling with neighbor . The neighbor w accuse me of sleeping with . W now best friends with her. I can't stand this neighbor . She is the most selfish person on the planet and she told my w to file. Out of my control I know but I don't have to like her right. I get annoyed because neighbor parenting is the exact opposite of what we teach our children
That is my vent for today. But honestly awesome weekend with kids. It rocked rocked rocked
