own a buz - pt 12 ... taking him off the pedestal

[makingmagic]

Struggling today. Hoping to get in to see the councelor. He said he would try to fit me in today.

I am really sad feeling the loss today. Super lonesome for what I thought I had. My life, my man. Its my parents anniversary today.

Since I didn't get to Florida... I have decided to create further space between h and I this weekend. Trying my hardest not to call /text/ or see H. Friends had mentioned that if I had gone to florida, it would give him an opportunity to see what it would be like without me around. So... thought about it and this is the best I could come up with.

Although, it should be a regular work day...it is also a long weekend here. We work soooo much and are always available. I have decided to make a management decision and put off the clients until Tuesday. They can wait. I have not told h. I will just wait until Tuesday. But not sure what I will say to him. How I will explain it? Normally, I let him make the management decisions for this kind of stuff. I am trying to make a stand that I too, am capable of making an independent decision for the business, and myself.

Trying to keep busy. Fri night was a party (super fun) we got crazy with markers and were drawing tatoos on everyone. Immature fun! Didn't think of h at all!!

Yesterday, spent the day with a married friend and did some photography. He is having struggles with his relationship. His wife is awesome and gives me great advice. She was at a concert. Then went back to his place and watched a movie. (thought of h alot).