OGDA, I look forward to talking to you. I'd like to let you know I will be back in the office the week of March 15. I will be refreshed and looking forward to reconnecting!
Blessings,
Laurie, Divorce Busting Coach Contact The Divorce Busting Center at 303-444-7004 or 800-664-2435 if you would like to schedule a telephone consultation with a DB Coach - or email virginia@divorcebusting.com for info.
Laurie - thanks for your post - I had called Michele's office this morning to set up a time with you - Guess I will have to wait til the 15th - also check my new thread
"This is your single most important mission..taking the Pressure off your W. Combine that with Space and Patience and you have a good chance at reconciliation."
If this is the one I could get hold of, I would be a long way. Today was moving day, so rollercoaster is WAY up and down.
"Instead, it is demonstrating to your W(as she is crying out to you for help) that you really do care for and love her enough to give her what she needs inspite of how much it is hurting you."
I do care for her and love her despite the words she has said and things she has done. If she is crying out, she is NOT letting me see or help, now.
B, I feel your pain all too well! Things are going to be so unfair and frustrating! They are just in a different frame of mind, not themselves..at least they're not the women we married. Take deep breaths when you start to feel anger, anxious, feel like you have to say something..."ACT AS IF" my friend!
I acted as if when she left this afternoon. She brought S3 back and came to see D11 and S7 when they got home from school. I was working in backyard (without my shirt) when she arrived. 70's plus here in Central Texas today.
I was much better and calmer. She kept saying,"Thanking you for helping today. I really appreciate it, more than you know."
"You're welcome. Let me know if there is anything you need?" "You too." "See you later." "Ok."
And now I'm crying, damn rollercoaster. Argghhh. Let me off.
"Call me if need anything." Argghhh.
One thing I have SLOWLY figured out, is every action on there part is calculated. There are no unintentional acts. She left certain items and took certain items for a reason. But of course, I have no idea why?
B, You did real good! And she really did appreciate what you did...so realize that you've continued to show her support. I know it's tough..you feel used, being taken advantage, being strung along...yup..all those thoughts running through your head.
GAWD she sounds so much like my W. My WAW is actually still in our house, I've got the APT...'bout 4 - 5 weeks ago she was complaining about the fact that she should have been the one to move out, but I beat it her to it. Only because I had been living out my suitcase for 7 weeks and I finally decided that if she didn't want me to move back in then I was going to get my own space, re-establish a home base for myself where I could do my work and take care of myself. Just another example of how wacked they can be..I gave her the option first, but she said no. Oh Well.
I aslo agree with your observations about what they do is so calculated. It definately feels that way doesn't it. While my WAW was telling me she was confused, or even got upset that I started to separate the checking accounts...Our Wedding Pictures put themselves away, then 3 weeks ago, any pictures of my family (Mother/Father's Wedding Picture and Brother/Sister In-Law's Wedding Picture), but the Kids picutres remain up.
This I believe is a way they begin going through the PROCESS. Now that REALLY Hurts, to think that they do not want to be reminded of anything to do with YOU.
Again, though... you have to remember that they've been abducted...they're in pain, angry, scared, confused...regardless of how cool they appear. Genuinely be her friend...I know it hurts deep.
Remember there are others who depend on you...who need and want you.
