Hi DB, Thanks for your response. I'm encouraged! And to put things into perspective...I don't feel Awesome..I still struggle especially when my W continues to hurt me (either intentionally, or not).
Being her friend is a decision. It's definately not what I prefer because I want more...but it's consistent with 1) being the man she first fell in love with 2) building a friendship or in our cases re-building the relationship.
As Laurie stated...taking the path of least resistance is the key and the opportunity. So neither of us really have another choice at this point if we want to bring our WAWs towards us, instead of pushing them away.
When you think in the context of being her friend, you detach lovingly. You can show empathy, you listen better and you don't make demands...just as it was when you and your W were first dating.
When you do this and "Act as IF" then you don't come across as being NEEDY and when you're not NEEDY, then you don't show anger, appear or sound desparate, frustrated, unhappy, etc. and so you take all the pressure off of her.
This is your single most important mission..taking the Pressure off your W. Combine that with Space and Patience and you have a good chance at reconciliation.
This is not a compromise, or does it mean that you are giving your W permission, or agreeing you approve of her WA and this is definately not a sign of weakness on your part. Instead, it is demonstrating to your W(as she is crying out to you for help) that you really do care for and love her enough to give her what she needs inspite of how much it is hurting you.(Laurie? How did I do?).
Be her friend AGAIN DB! Hang in there! I'll be looking for you...