I want him to be happy

[stilllookingup]

Hi JRG!

Oh ya very! The only activity of his I see is when he contributes some money in our J account on pay days twice a month. And when I get his mail here I text him to let him know and he comes to get them while I'm not here.(He still has the key to the house) We are still friends on fb but both of us rarely post anything anymore and I've been trying to not log into FB altogether so Idk if he has any updates or not. Not logging to FB feels great actually because I focus on GAL more than worrying about what I might or might not find out on FB.

I often text my H's BF and he's so great. He never tells me how my H's doing or asks me what's going with us etc. I really appreciate his friendship now more than ever and I can't help but to think how ironic it is. All these years my H wanted me to go to his friends' gatherings/parties more with him and I almost always had an excuse to not go. Not that I didn't like his friends (Actually I really really like them) but I just did not want to give up staying at home time on the weekends and go drinking.
.... man how much lazier could I have been?!? hahaha

GAL is going well. I recently went to see a movie by myself for the FIRST time in my life! It was such a big deal to me I had to encourage myself all day lol. I told H's BF before I went so I had to do it. He knows I've been trying to do new things so he encourages me more and it's been a great help. Idk if he tells my H about what I've been up to or not but it doesn't matter. I'm GAL-ing for me anyway.

I continue to go to the gym at least 3 times a week. A girl at the gym remembers my name now and she told me once she had to remember my name because I go there a lot. (Ha! never thought in a million years I would hear something like that at the gym. Me? going to the gym a LOT? that never happened before)
I look and feel better than ever and I'm exploring types of clothes I've always wanted to wear but never did.

Another small and odd GAL is Netflix. It's not really social or outgoing GAL activity but it's doing a great deal for me. I'm the kind of person who watches my fav movies over and over again. It was very rare for me to explore new movies. Since I joined Netflix, I must have watched 10-15 movies in a month. Movies usually have great messages to deliver and watching them has been great for me to realize/remember things I forgot or I've never thought of before.

I think I've said it somewhere in my thread before but I seriously secretly thank my H for giving my life back. I still wish this didn't happen this way but without this happening I would have NEVER been where I am now.

Of course I have my down time. In fact I probably have some sort of down time few times a day. I sometimes do feel resentment. I sometimes do feel I want to give up but I'm still looking up