Out of my need for more understanding about MLC (still struggling to wrap my mind around it and stop blaming myself) I started reading Holly06's threads (thank you Bea and Cadet for posting the information and links in Linda's thread!) and came across her post of 6/27/06 which is wonderful and just what I needed.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=742903&page=6