Is it too soon to give up hope?

[2ndtimearoundCA]

Intimacy was an issue. Ed was an occasional issue that i solved through medication. I didn't always need meds but w would get very dissapointed if parts were not working. i had run out of meds right before she left. And the last time we tried to make love, i had Ed and may have been the last straw. i always took care of her in other ways (and she told me that I was good at that) but she wanted more. The biggest issue with our intimacy was if we did anything unusual I would have trouble lasting. She asked asked me once if I had ever had "great sex", implying that she had but not with me. Most times we made love she was able to "o". But I know that it is about more than that.

My solution. Since we split up I have been to therapy, read books on the problem, read women's romance novels, read 50 shades of gray books, seeked out other information on the Internet. I am not sure how I can show her that I have made a 180 in this area. I am more than willing to go back to therapy if/when we start a new relationship.

I do try to teach my kids about commitment in relationships. My parents are still togeer after 53 years. I grew up not believing in divorce. Nonetheless, I was not able to save my first marriage and that probably damaged the kids more. But I hope I am setting a good example by trying to save this marriage.

I try to be the best person I can be. I can cook and clean and stay healthy and take care of her .. But I am not sure how she will see those changes. I just do them for me.