Hello all. It's been a week since my last post. Things have continued to go along smoothly. W wants to be around. W wants me to be around her. She is hugging and kissing, holding hands, etc.
Good. I'm guessing this is the direction you would like to continue moving towards, no?
Now my question is, how/when do you ask what is going on?
You don't. Let her lead this conversation. No pressure from you.
Even though she has moved out, we see each other alot. She invites me over to eat and go to the pool with the kids. I almost always go because that is extra time with the kids and if she really wants to be with me (not plan B) then I am happy to be with her.
Pretending to not want to hang with W (when you'd really like to) in the hopes that she'll miss you is a reverse psychology tactic, and is manipulative. It's a game that I wouldn't play. You can accept any invites you want, go and show strength, independence and NOT pursue her. I'd rather do this than play silly "mystery" games. If W wants you it'll be for WHO YOU ARE, not who you're pretending you are just to win her back. She's smart enough to see through that.
I have had really good PMA recently until the past two days. I have been thinking more and more that I am plan B and this is affecting my mood. I know she can sense this also even though she hasn't mentioned it. I haven't been passive aggressive in a long time but I have been a little more stand offish these past two days and I don't like it.
You don't know if you're plan B. Even if you are, it's better than not being an option. Either way, you can't control this, so why worry about it? Just be the best Grizz you can be, so she KNOWS what she may be giving up.
Do I continue to play like we are working on us, not knowing if I am plan B, just to be terribly hurt again? Or, do I back off, losing time with the kids and her, and looking like I am pouting or upset just in case I am plan B? I have no idea what to do.
If by "working on us" you mean working on the M, I say no, let her lead for now. Only "back off" if you need to do so for you, otherwise you should be giving her your best effort. Isn't that what you want her to see?
I haven't felt this low in a while now. What happened to my PMA?
It's very normal to have highs and lows in PMA. Focus on your plan, which should be rock solid, not your feelings which will naturally fluctuate.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
