Crimson.....Are we broken or just bent?

[25yearsmlc]

FWIW, the closest thing to the "secret" of getting thru this,

is GAL.

GAL is how you learn to detach, b/c it keeps you from obsessing (or reduces it a lot).

GAL helps you get a PMA

b/c who wants to meet new people when you have the "long sad face" on? Not many. It forces you to have a PMA or fake it for a few hours and trust me, faking it, DOES help you make it. Might take time but sometimes just half an hour of forced optimism, starts to seep in.

GAL helps you become the new you.

I think you are less likely to backslide b/c the new you with your new peeps around you won't "know it" as part of you, so the changes you made will be seen as real. That helps you make them real, and lasting.

They are the new you...

So yeah, I hammer GAL b/c I believe in it.

Not just taking up old fav hobbies with old friends. That's good too...but I strongly urge you to MEET NEW PEOPLE as part of the GAL. A big part of it, and for the reasons why, see above.

At first it's tougher b/c you want the comfort of old friends. Which is fine!

But doing something new won't remind you of your ex, so maybe an old friend will join you in a new activity??

Or maybe you can just do a whole new thing with a group of strangers. OR both.

I hate reposting my list of GAL, b/c it seems like I'm bragging. Hey, come to think of it, in truth I am proud of it. It's the hardest I ever worked to just feel normal.

But i got better. I got happy, and I achieved a lot. And I had 3 kids including an infant.

IT CAN BE DONE.

It will help you, I promise. And it will NOT hurt your chances of reconciling with your ex w. I promise you that, too.