Time flies

[mishka422]

Oh dear, that could be interesting for sure. It would certainly open his eyes to my warped mind! LOL

Oh, trust me, I know I've got lots of unresolved issues. I'm working my way through them slowly. OT turned me on to some online support I didn't realize was accessible and it's been interesting to say the least. I haven't gotten too far with that yet..very busy lately..but it is a help.

Yes, I must put my big girl panties on and just say what's on my mind. In my head I know that. Not confronting issues head on does not do me any favors at all, but that is what I'm working on....overcoming fear. Doing that is requiring me to completely rewire my brain. My fight or flight instincts are super set to flight....or better yet, freeze. Like a scared rabbit. It's ugly, but it's me.

I can not expect anything to change until I make the step to change it. Maybe the work I've done so far is what is causing these dreams. I'm not having the daily anxiety attacks because I make a conscious effort to think through my problem before I let the 'what if's' take over. My subconscious is a whole other problem though. I can't control what it is doing while I sleep so the fear manifests itself that way instead of in my conscious mind.

That just sounds almost worse to me! Eeek! How can I control what my subconscious does??? ARGH!

Isn't the human brain a bizarre mystery?

On a happy note, I get to drive 3 hours each way, again, tomorrow to pick up Marc from his encampment. I can't wait to hear all the details!