Can I relate the ANGER, so deep that it feels an awful lot like hate. TVS was debating whether or not to give her H a hug before his clandestine weekend. Me, I think a punch in the face would feel more natural to me. Or hug him with a very sharp knife!
In Susan Anderson's book on abdandonment, she talks about the anger stage. I am right in it. It is not a peaceful stage so I am trying even harder not to think of him and the things that he did and the way that he did them and the way that he is not sorry at all.
MizJ, maybe the real vacation for you would be to let him take the twins and you can either stay home and enjoy the peace or, if you can afford it, grab a friend or just you and have a spa day, go to the nearest town with a hotel/spa and enjoy yourself. You (like me) are wound tighter than a clock these days and I hardly think all that time in the car with H and boys is going to be anything but torture at this point. Sometimes, it is OK to put ourselves first, especially when even though you are going to support your H's family, it may turn out worse when you are mentally exhausted.
