now we do know- for sure- that when it's time we will know.
soooo- given the fact that you have backed it up with your actions- what next?
howcome you say you are not "doing it". when you've told him to leave. do you mean actually filing for divorce? will you go "there"? do you want to? do you want it allllllll over and done for final and good - or just a break from what it is now? just your own space to get away and assess (or reassess?)
have you spoken to attorney and have they assured you - you'll end up with house and place to live and some support til at least your daughter is out of school?
short of changing locks - what can you do to budge him? legally? and what are you willing to do - anything or be guided by your compassion and decency?? i can't imagine way out of your impasse & his resistence. (and your soft heart) (no bad thing to have in life)
I'm kind of jealous that you are soooo sure. i was thinking about the contrast thing of h being around or not. spewing or not0- it messes me up- the times he's nice & around - tho, now that i say it - it makes me care less for him than more. i was feelin moi detached and "cold" on way to airport - no hurtness or sadness - just a loose "your choice buddy- don't come cryin to me when you realize what you've destroyed" overall feelin. hard hard bit@h. (hope he felt it- who can know?)
the daily interaction with my knowledge of ow- and his being fonder a bit- but still "holding back" all the time. i could kill him alot of the time when i see him. it's the distance that makes me fond sometimes- or objective about the many good good years he has provided- more than anyone else in life. does that matter? now?
bottom line tho- i do not care about his happiness. he's f'd up mine toooo much now for me to give a darn abut his.
i just wrote to you in your thread- hadn't seen this one .
i feel better a bit to know that when my limit is reached i'll know- and i feel good for you having that knowledge.
no one said it would be easy getting unentangled- i guess you've achieved the first step tho- certainty. now you just have to figure how the heck to implement it all-
no small task. it's a long long time together - to figure hte end. with , what? fairness? kindness? charity? whatever all the things are that you need to go into it?!!
good guts saying you're unmoved by his dopey calling ow and saying don't call me. mind you- i'd take it - i'd take anything that indicated a person was still "in there" (in h's skin). you know - verbalization - a gesture? whatever
i think he is just someone else now- probably forever- i am a lazy woman - i feel a bit "inadequate" in the face of your gut-ful-ness. oh well huh? guess like popeye I am what i am. we're gonna let me be who & what i am for just awhile longer without criticism & guilt- waaaay too much of that for me.
i am going to go sew or paint- and do a day of something i love without thinking[- no kidding. gift to self....
no judgement of self- no demands - nothing other than, today, celebrating being alive- not feeling bad & being who i am.
i'm really just a regular ole person- doing the best i can.
DO YOU THINK WE ALL REALLY "DO THE BEST WE CAN" MOST OF THE TIME?????? EVERYONE///???with the circumstances & brains we're given? just curious
have a great day- feel good about your mental state & strength of spirit & wisdom - i'm there with ya in thought - whatever is going on or you decide - know it.
so in answer to your "to what end" - sit quietly and the universe will bop you on the head with your own "wisdom" about this. go forward as you have been- in your own time- with your own words & actions and i'm thinking it's unfolding as it all "should" - (the universe's own time line & "plan")
i'm gettin pretty "buddha" and new age - huh???i'm feelin it this morning- breath deep - love is all around us probably- just need to somehow suck it in- & be receptive-
