Your kidz will know theyre loved, cause you will provide what they need. Its that simple. Sounds like you need to all get out of the house for a bit, there a lake, a park, mini golf?
If you sit still you wallow, if you keep busy you discover. Dont let his actions dictate your life. Stand up for yourself. No one can do it for you. Dont be afraid to find out you can have fun for yourself.