I'm back, on my own.

[canadianMrs.]

Thats why I hesitate. I really don't even really want to go backwards, or have the desire to actually have the talk with him. I wondered if I should for the kids, but really didn't want to. In the past I probably would have, and in the past he's always looked for my advice to help him make decisions. Now its like, hello, you are almost 40! The decisions he makes on his own (or with OW) are pretty alarming, but they aren't mine.
I don't pursue him either, with the friendship. I stopped that a long time ago. He always seaks me out, and likes to pretend all is well, even when it is not. Funny, he was just away on a trip with his bf. I got more texts in those days then I had in months (and I do hear from him daily). I think he wanted bf to think everything was good between us. In reality I only responded to a few, the ones about the kids.
Thank you for pointing out whether it is MLC or immaturity, he has to grow up. How true, and I needed to hear that.

Now I need to move forward,once again, with a new sense of boundaries with H. I feel like every few months we are back here and I need to detach/distance myself even more, mostly for my/kids preservation. I've always struggled with boundaries surronding the kids and him, because I want him to have as much access to them as possible (I do have sole custody). However, sometimes at my own expense, literally and emotionally. I have to remember "no" once in awhile is completely different than "no" all the time.