Magic,

Wonka ~~~ but WHY?? why not? frown I am cute!! and am working hard on me? What will it take for him to notice me, as a person..not just business? Why is is important for him to appreciate me in business but not personally?

Because H is in a fog which means confusion and numbness are the major indicators of his MLC actions or non-actions. His realty and perceptions are very warped at the moment. There is no rhyme or reason to his thought patterns because his innards are as screwy as C-3PO's in a robot junkyard. As long as your H is in MLC fog, it may take many more months or even years before he notices you. This is the harsh, cold reality of living with a MLCer. I am not going to sugarcoat this process for you in a "womanly/wife light", sweetie.

We don't know why he appreciates you in a business way because we have NO idea what his thinking is at the moment. It seems to me that he is wanting a business partner to help relieve the stress of managing his business because he has verbalized it to you.

he means coffee with women! He made that clear.

just his "coffee" comment...which is a sore spot for me.

The first and foremost IMPORTANT rule when DBing is to check your pride and self-righteousness at the door. After this first rule, the SECOND most important one is this: The only person you can control is YOURSELF.

From my vantage point of view, you are spinning into a tizz over H going out for coffee with other women. That is no biggie in the grand scheme of things when you consider other DBers here with MLCers who are actively engaged in FULL-BLOWN emotional and physical affairs that have gone on for several months and years!

Coffee? Please...come on, Magic. And even if H is actually going out for coffee with other women, you are still borrowing trouble with your assumptions and whirling thoughts. He may or may not go out for coffee with them at all. You have ZERO control over H or the situation. I can see that you DO want to control the situation. It is not helping at all.