And so the piecing begins.....

[Tryin2figuritout]

Intense therapy session today that really cleared the air on both of our sides. Afterwards, we sat in her car continuing to clear it all out and realizing all the catch 22's that we're trying to survive including, but not limited to:

1) Her in-n-out in wanting to try at reconciling is pushing me to not be as open / nervous about trying reconciling;

2) Me not being open makes her mad as it's what I did for years

3) Her being mad causes me to crawl back which makes her not want to do anything with me.

This was all prevelant during our marriage, but recognizing it now while we're trying to reconcile is crucial for us to not snap at each other or turn away so easily. For the first time in our relationship, I finally realized that sometimes when she seems she's at her most confident it's really a face that she's putting out there to protect herself. I was really stunned when I saw this.

Our therapist asked my wife to try and park Divorce for 3 months and not to think about it again until 3 months from now. She did so because she can see that my wife runs to that as an option all the time when she gets scared. Without that as a viable option (for now) she might be able to open up more.

Lots of work still to be done, but a great session. Don't have another one for two weeks, but hoping to take some steps in the right direction with what our counselor taught us today about avoidance. We both avoid in different ways and for different reasons. We'll see what we can do.

Later,
Trying