Becoming PatientMan II - Still En-Route, Post-D

[PatientMan]

I never initiate contact with her unless it's necessary because of the kids. I've gotten really good at no contact from me.

So you're against a plan to help you through difficult times?

No contact from her is going to be difficult, you've not done this before. You don't know how that will affect you, it may be positive, it may be negative. All I'm saying is you need a plan.

Good point. I suppose my default person is my sister, but I will definitely give this some thought.

How are you going to contact her about the kids and what in your mind constitutes necessary?

Via text or email, mainly, but phone calls aren't out of the question if needed. "Necessary" means it has to do with the finances or coordinating the children's activities. I do not want her texting me about her clients or her day or the TV show she is watching, as examples.

If you want her to stop contacting you, stop responding unless it's truly necessary, life/death necessary.

Tell us why you think your letter or message is a good thing.

Well, for one it is something different. She still cries every day and I'm still in love with her (and we're 18 months in!), so it explains why I feel this change is necessary.

Also, I actually feel like I just said "goodbye" to my wife and best friend forever, so I felt like I owed her more than the succinct version. Now that I've said my what I have to say, I'm going as dark as possible (given the children).

-PM