Lost, confused and trying to make a stand

[brobafet]

I disagree about the forum, Betsey - I think this is the right place for anyone who is going through divorce issues, as people here have experience and advice to offer.

I haven't read your thread yet, but I do agree with Bets that you need to lawyer up. Once she enrolls the kids in school in her town, you'll have a more difficult time getting 50/50 custody, I should think (and it wouldn't be very practical anyway). I don't know if you are prepared or able to be the primary custodian, but if that's what you want, you will need a lawyer to help fight for that. Your work status and hers may influence the courts (if she's a stay-at-home mom, they'll probably let them go to school where she is.)

Separate out your feelings about wife and divorce, and just ask yourself what is best for the kids? If it seems inevitable that they will live with her and go to school there, you may not want to make waves. On the other hand, if you believe they would be better off living with you and seeing her on weekends, get a lawyer ASAP, one who is experienced in fighting for father's rights.

kml, thank you so much. My feelings are there but all I'm thinking about is the kids and what will/could be best. Which is me moving down there finding a job and being able to see my kids 50% of the time. I'm just lost and need support. The way I have been made to feel so far is that if I do move down there I am kowtowing to her when really I want to remain civil and give my kids the best life they can possibly have with us being kind and loving? towards eachother. I just need a hand or a fricken hug something. THis hurts and I'm sad.