Not New to This Anymore

[steveh27]

So we told kids last week. Worst day of my life. They took it hard. Although they have been busy with friends and activities to keep their mind off it. I think reality will set in when the W and I part ways.

I have stopped overly getting the house ready. I am doing things to organize, but it's more of a "looking busy". I don't want the W to think i'm dragging my feet, but I'm not looking to expedite the process either. In fairness, she has taken a real slow approach lately also on the house. She has been concentrating on finding apartments and I have been looking at houses to buy within our school district. Kind of a cart before the horse. Maybe we are just avoiding the hardwork and doing what is enjoyable (i use this word very loosely as its anything but) to keep our minds off our emotions.

It's really so surreal to me living this way right now. I have this women who i have known for 20 years sitting at the table with me looking at apartments and sharing house listings with me. I have shared half my life with her, full of memories, good and bad times, death of both of our parents, our children's births, great vacations. We are acting like we are brother and sister helping each other out.

We agreed back a month ago that when we told the kids, one would move out of the bedroom. The night we told them I went to bed earlier to watch the Bruins hockey game (<-- I dont want to talk about it, those who know the outcome of the stanley cup) and she comes in and says shes tired and just wants to crash. It was an emotionally exhausting day. I just said I don't mind and to just get some sleep. Well, those arrangements haven't changed. Not sure if it's the comfort of each other or the bed is just that good. We seem to be able to handle it though.

So not much to report. Just living a day at a time. Making future living arrangement plans. Doing stuff with the kids. I've been doing more GAL lately. My 2 close friends are back from their trips, so doing stuff with them a couple times a week. Looking to play some pickup soccer on Sundays, slowly to get back into a little bit more competitive leagues. Dreading cleaning the house and making piles of his and hers. I know it will be emotionally draining and I've been doing well with trying not to be in that state as of late, so avoiding those events like the plague. Unfortunately I cannot stick my head in the sand forever, which I really dont think I am outwardly. Still in protecting my heart mode though. Not easy.