I'm back, on my own.

[BRNR]

Canadian Mrs. - I have had this exact same thing happen in my sitch. The difference for me is it was 4-5 post BD.

I am not sure if I have handled it. As Portia mentioned you can't stop him.

But, for me as part of the acceptance of the sitch being what it is, I didn't say anything to him. I said to my children that I was sorry that it has happened, asked them how they felt, and "clarified" any stories (AKA lies) my H told them about her.

I think it has allowed them to voice their concerns, opened up the communication between them and me, and really has shown them who their father is.

My S14 feels his father is moving way to fast, being very pushy, and S14 doesn't want to get involved with OW, H's new life, etc. All things I have told my S14 he should address with his father if he felt that uncomfortable.

My S10 told me that she is nice, but tries too hard just like his Dad does. He really doesn't care, but has changed his feelings about how the "quality time" he spends with Dad feels. Also, S10, at one point very early on, wanted to live with my H, and now, doesn't. All because "she" will be there.

I think this is another burning of bridges between my children and H. Another one he will fix (hopefully!) one day with his children. But it is their relationship, not mine and H's.

So, FWIW, IMO, be angry, I was. But be there for your kids and let the chips fall where they may with his relationship with them, that may or may not include OW. From what I have heard in good "blended" family situations, step kids/step parents is a hard situation. Maybe it will be a wake up call that trying to have your cake and eat it too at least won't be easy.

Take care!