I gave my W the list of LL ideas above the next day after I posted it here. Unedited. She said that she loved reading it but that it scared her. Some of the things on the list were things that she felt I had rejected from her earlier. I told her that it was OK to be scared. It just meant that things need to go slow. Also, I tried to emphasize that they were just ideas (or a plan) and not something I was trying to do right now. I'm hoping it got her thinking of what a future us might look like. I also think it relays the message that I wasn't ignoring her. I did hear her all those years.
So, she ended up taking off her wedding ring again. I don't get hugs anymore either. It doesn't bother me though. There are so many other signs/baby steps that I can be confident that what I am doing is working. She let me put sunblock on her (right after she said "You just want to touch me"). W has been flirty and happy when I am around.
I help her with her college homework. She lets me lean in and put my head on her shoulder. I give her letters and poems. She sends me texts and pictures of her smiling. I hang around the house until she goes to sleep so that we can spend time together without the kids. Yeah, her LL is definitely Quality Time.
She likes to talk and text about her day almost all day long. I'm loving it. I feel like her best friend again. I worry about getting stuck in the friend zone. I try to keep up the flirting so that she knows my interest. Her responses are flirty too, so I'm no too worried. I think the intimacy will return when she is ready. No need to rush.
I do wonder when I might be able to move back home. I don't want to bring it up though. I've read stories where WAS was almost ready to be together again when LBS brought up issues. I want to talk about R and future with W. I'm just holding back to see how things are going. I want to see what progress can be made with what I am doing right now.
