As far as DBing, the stuff I put out to you is outside the scope of things in a way. It could certainly help you in all your Rs but it might take some further reading and reflection.
Your suggestion has struck a chord with me, and i believe this is an area that i should prioritise for examination. Thank you very much. I have googled 'vulnerable and open' and have a good starting point. At least it will put my focus back on me, instead of my situation or wife.
Me: 49 W: 47 M: 19 T: 25 Son:19 Dau:13 Son:6 BD: Aug: 2012 Separated - same house: May, 2013 Ultimatum to move out: Dec 2013 W looking to move out: January 2014 Dau says go, I move out: June 2014