Saying "I love you"?

[InnerStrength]

You don't need to bring it up and tell her that she should be willing to work on it. Never bring up these kind of talks! Everything about DBing is like that old writer's rule, "show, don't tell." You just pull back a little more.

This is the flipside of how the pursuer-distancer relationship is described in DR. The more the LBS pursues, the faster the WAW runs. If you haven't been pursuing thanks to DBing, she's now being more affectionate and saying things like that to see if there's any real risk of losing her backup option.

When my W started this sort of behaviour (minus the I love yous) months ago, I let it happen, and got comfortable with it, and we made no moves back to reconciliation. Things sort of stalled there because she knew she had her safety net. Knowing that the "no pursuit" rule is helpful not just to cancel the pursuer-distancer relationship where your W is the distancer but to reverse it and make her the pursuer is really so important and should, I reckon, be more strongly emphasized in the books/here, in particular for male LBSes.

The key is to pull back slightly more, watch her pursue more, and keep doing so in a lovingly detached way until she decides the risk of losing you has become too high not to reconcile. Calibrate carefully.

In that light, my next step would be to simply stop responding to "I love you". No need to talk about it, just say "Take care. Bye!" if it's at the end of a conversation (you still need to give a friendly vibe). I think in your situation when she's already doing that much temp-check/pursuit behaviour, your DBing has scared her to some extent -- you'll be pretty shocked by the results when you react even less to her pursuing behaviour.