ICK! I just want a q-tip or something for my brain! That would be super!
I haven't had these nightmares in at least a year or more and suddenly I'm having them every night. Last night's has stuck with me and made me uneasy all day long. I can't seem to make it go away. It really made my blood boil and I woke up crying super hard. YUCK!!!!!!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Sorry you're having these, Mish. I often have anxiety based dreams. Stuff like I can't find my kids, keys...can't get the right number when dialing the phone etc. I guess dreams say a lot about where our heads are at. Have you tried any sleep cd's?These ones are pretty easy to find but I'll give you a link http://www.neuroacoustic.com/sleepenhancement.html
Unfortunately I believe that your dreams are due to unresolved issues. And you know that. There are so many things going on that you are not happy about but you have chosen to sweep them under the rug. You will not confront Gabe or discuss your arrangement despite the fact it eats away at you. And the things under the rug are still there and possibly multiplying.
I'm so sorry that the issues are beginning to manifest themselves in dreams. I hope you can find a way to deal with some of them that might give you some peace. Maybe you can tell Gabe about the dreams. It could open up a new line of communication. You could even ask his opinion about what they mean - see if he has any insight at all. That could be interesting.
Oh dear, that could be interesting for sure. It would certainly open his eyes to my warped mind! LOL
Oh, trust me, I know I've got lots of unresolved issues. I'm working my way through them slowly. OT turned me on to some online support I didn't realize was accessible and it's been interesting to say the least. I haven't gotten too far with that yet..very busy lately..but it is a help.
Yes, I must put my big girl panties on and just say what's on my mind. In my head I know that. Not confronting issues head on does not do me any favors at all, but that is what I'm working on....overcoming fear. Doing that is requiring me to completely rewire my brain. My fight or flight instincts are super set to flight....or better yet, freeze. Like a scared rabbit. It's ugly, but it's me.
I can not expect anything to change until I make the step to change it. Maybe the work I've done so far is what is causing these dreams. I'm not having the daily anxiety attacks because I make a conscious effort to think through my problem before I let the 'what if's' take over. My subconscious is a whole other problem though. I can't control what it is doing while I sleep so the fear manifests itself that way instead of in my conscious mind.
That just sounds almost worse to me! Eeek! How can I control what my subconscious does??? ARGH!
Isn't the human brain a bizarre mystery?
On a happy note, I get to drive 3 hours each way, again, tomorrow to pick up Marc from his encampment. I can't wait to hear all the details!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Mish when you sleep and dream it is usually the brains way as working out issues. Now that you are working on stuff, your brain is actually helping you at night. Scary now I am sure but a necessary evil.
This is you growing hon. Just like we did when we worked on DB. You can do this.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
