PON, Why are you trying to rationalize insanity? All you are doing is going around and around like a hamster on a wheel. We can only advise you as to what we think may be going on in her head, but she's the only one that can answer questions, but I seriously doubt at this time she would have any rational answers.
If you have read anything at all about depression, mlc or even the baby blues, you will discover they all have some irrational thoughts. Marie Osmond is a good example of baby blues...she hid in the closet, left her husband and did a lot of crazy things. She finally hit bottom and sought help.
The best and only thing you can do is take care of YOU! She uses the divorce/separation card to get you to back off. I believe I may have said that before. You tend to get into her space entirely too much and she senses you watching her every move. Back up, back off! Just leave her alone and work on yourself. Find things to do and learn to accept her for who she is right now...not the nice wifey but a woman who doesn't want you in her space.
What's going on w/your sponsor? Are you not working the steps? Learn to walk away when things appear to be getting a bit testy and find something to do. Go outside, hit a few balls, mow the lawn, take a run, but do something besides allowing your anxiety to get the better of you.
FOCUS ON YOU!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
