morning Coffee and positives - (no list tho - just narrative)
C met me at the gym for a workout last night with trainer and went to eat after. she said she had gone to see a counselor but no insurance to cover it so may try to find another one. Said she was now off old meds and fully on new meds. She did a gradual change and she said she feels better on the new meds. Feels that she can concentrate better and has more energy. We started talking about our past "US" and We had a deep R talk about our M. She felt that the last year of our M she was married to a strainger. I told her that I felt the same way but that even though the low testosterone lowered my libedo and I should have gone to a Dr. for check up when she suggested it last year, I also did take her for granted and that I was totally wrong for that. I told her my long term goals with us but told her that I was not going to put pressure on her to make any decisions now. I did that when we first started dating too - I just dated and even though she knew what I wanted I waited til she was ready for more and I told her that I can do that again.
After this talk she stated that she wanted me to start doing other things (she did not say date other people tho like she had in the past) and not make her my only thing and that she was going to date others too.
Even though it was lightly raining when we left I stood by the open door of her car after she got in and we had some good kisses and as I gently stroked her cheek with the back of my fingers, she reached up and took my hand and embraced it gently between her cheek and her shoulder then gently kissed it.
Usually when we leave, she ask me to give her a call to let her know I got home safely so after I got home I called her to let her know that I was home and to check that she was home ok too. We chatted for a few minutes and said our good nites and sweet dreams and hung up.
About 10 or 15 minutes later she called me back and said she had forgot to ask me something. She then said that there had been a possum outside the other night when she let B - our puppy, now 10 months old so almost full grown - out to do his thing and he started to chase the critter even though it was twice the size of B. She asked me if possums spray the same as Skunks do and if they bite. We talked for about 10 more minutes about critters and such, had a chuckle or two and again said our good nights and sweet dreams.
I thought the evening went well and we were kinda starting to move back to working on friendship. After the last call I was sure of it.
Still have a long way to go though - I sense that she feels that if we did get back together we would end up like our last year together again. It may take quite some time to convence her that I will not take her for granted again.
