Re: Thought I Was Piecing, Now I'm Detaching III

[25yearsmlc]

25 I read your post 10x. It is all good and nothing I shouldn't already know..

"I see no evidence of MLC. None of her behavior is new. it's happened before."

This I disagree with. This behavior started happening 3 years ago. 18 months after daughter was born. Everything I read about on MLC fits her bill. I never loved you etc, mood swings, tattoos, blah blah blah blah.

Excuse me but you have told us that she ALWAYS does "x" or "y" on day 16 of her cycle. Is that new or not?

And her mood disorder is not ALL due to hormones. But who cares? She won't get treatment...so that's that.

I just bring this up so I can research and learn a little bit about what she is going through. I still haven't fixed me. Not even remotely.


Then why spend ANY time on HER? this is the same old behavior you have done before. Focussing on her WHILE saying you are going to do your own work.

If you were only working on you, this stuff about MLC would not get your focus so often. There is nothing you can do about it anyhow. I can't even speak to this again...it's like I'm talking to someone blocking his ears saying "NO I need to label/diagnose her so I can understand"...

But none of us understand why our spouses did what they did. NOT in a satisfactory way. You think she can say "Oh, PON, I have abandonment issues, so I HAVE to treat you this way...I won't change or get counselling..."

and that will do what for you? Make it better? Easier? HOW?



Yes my head is spinning today because I am not sure I want to live my life like this.

You are NOT sure you want to live your life like this? Really? I thought this was all about the fact you KNOW you don't want to live like this and or you cannot.

AND you may not have any options.

She says AND acts like someone who wants a divorce.

Though She may not file for it , seems she'll make you miserable enough to "make" you file.




Echoing everything you said above. I'm having trouble detaching while living under the same roof. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THE EXACT DATE SHE WILL SPEW, I STILL LET IT HIM ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS

Why do you do that? She spewed and said she wants a divorce, has no feelings for you, is unhappy when you are around, etc...

so what is the surprise here? What is it you can do to prepare yourself for her predictable spews?

(And this confuses me. You say it's new, --proof of MLC--but then you say it's totally predictable so it's NOT new...)

Since you know in advance, then why not prepare yourself for a ONE day detachment?

As much as everyone says for you not to move out, it sure sounds as if you can't stay under the same roof. You spin too much with your fears and anxieties even when you know it's coming.

Either handle the detachment, and DO IT, or figure out who leaves and when.

That's it PON.


Last night she accused me of going through one of her dresser draws. I was like huh