first time(&last) & still need help

[albamarie]

i feel bad most of the time- but it's not over yet. I hope (and think) snodderly is probably rite and we will know without doubt - when we reach "the end".

See this is where I differ. I have reached my "it's over moment" and I think the agony is not being able to act on it.

I can't move, he won't move so I sit in my own doneness, brewing, and confirming just how done I am. While everyday he proves to me just how much I am done.

Nero, today when h came home w some stupid as$ reason why he was late I told him to turn back around. I knew he was lying...and he knew I knew.

He said he would take his pay w him and I said nice threat, so your think your gonna keep me down. When he said you know I wouldn't really do that I said lets put it to the test. I took his arm and handed him his shoes. He went out the door and said, wait, you'll have to do better than this.

I said what you think you have here, oh who's gonna take my family from me, is a lie you tell yourself, you will not have anything, wake up and see the truth. Your flip means nothing to me anymore and I have no concern for what your going through, look at me, do I look like I mean it, yes!

He quietly went in the house, took his phone and blocked EA. He said it's done, I do hear you every time you speak, your not wrong, she is too much anyways.

I said Fu. I'm unmoved by your empty gesture and walked away. He then called ea telling her, again more theatrics, don't call me anymore. I said this all means nothing to me, if I have to leave I will.

SO I guess I have met my doneness head on. To what end!