If you want to stop the charging on your credit cards, call the credit card companies and report the cards stolen or lost. Have the balances rolled over to the new account numbers and don't give her any of the cards. At least that way you can ensure you are the only one with the cards. Once you get the cards, if you are the primary on them, I think you can contact the credit card companies and then have her names removed. It's the safest and easiest way of nipping the charge-aholic in the bud.
Take back the control over your finances or you'll be filing for bankruptcy before you know it.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
