Living apart 6 weeks in

[Rockwallaby]

Hi AS

Unfortunately if I communicate my own boundaries to her she interprets it this way. I think she is still in fog of OM. Yesterday she entered my home and went into my bedroom to collect something for a trip away without even telling me she intended to go into the house. Initially when I told her I did not think this was courteous or acceptable she could not see why I was upset. She finally apologised this morning but in the meantime she accused me of talking her down. All I have said is please could she let me know if she needs something and we can arrange a time to meet so she can come in and get it.

Another example is in what her C said that she shared with me

"She said we need to be kind to each other, not just civil, forgive each other and have compassion for one another. Without this we will not heal. She also said we should only say positive things about each other to the children and we need to try and be friends for their sake. She did some healing for you too."

We were discussing this today and she said I want to be friends,I noted that she had said earlier she only wanted to discuss the children and I asked about being friends and she said yes we should talk in a friendly manner. I do not think she understands the words she shared.

I have to break this cycle of circular and destructive communication. The only way to do this is pull bac, not be drawn into discussions andtalk about the children wwhen we need to. I have expolained where were are on the legal agreements so if that is raised I will refer her to the advocates.I do not want to be cold, just step back and break the cycle.