It was the strangest feeling. I had caught him in another lie and instead of hurt or anger, I just said "You know what? I'm done with this."
And I was. No tears, which is significant for me because I'm a regular Niagra (in fact people tight rope walk across my face occasionally, which is very annoying )
And nothing he did or said moved me. It was "interesting" to watch him go through the denial then begging and apologizing to anger, but none of it affected me.
The ultimate detachment I suppose.
Now, with this H, right now I hate him so I'm thinking I'm not "done" yet, because I didn't hate H#1.
It sounds to me like you may still have "threads" between you and SO, but they're few and far between. I feel if that puts YOU in a better place then that's a good thing.
Think about this, when we met our SO/H, there were no threads. So having no threads again doesn't mean there could never be a reunion, just that it would HAVE to be "new", established on a new foundation.
Take care
Me 46 H 56 M 22 yrs S22, D20, Twin Ss18
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow. What you stop. And what you reinforce. ~~~~~~~ A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.
)
so I'm thinking I'm not "done" yet, because I didn't hate H#1. 
