Portia,
You will know when you are done. It is a very true statement. I will share a little bit of my experience and please remember, there is no right or wrong way to get to the finish line. When my xh left the first time, I was extremely hurt and very much shocked by his behavior as I had never witnessed the monster mode in him for over 25 years. He returned home within a few days and things settled down for the most part. His behavior was very different and a bit odd, but what did I know about MLC at the time? Absolutely nothing. I was aware that he was going through something, but he wouldn't sit down and tell me what was going on. I worked on the marriage by myself for 7 months and he did absolutely nothing but lip service about how he was working on the marriage. Fast forward, 7 months later he pulled the same bs again by threatening to leave at every turn if something didn't go his way. I knew I was done when I sat him down on a Monday night and advised him that he should leave that very night and not wait until after Christmas. Yes, I was disappointed and sad when he just up and disappeared while I was at work a week later, but the bottom line was, I knew I was done. How does it feel? For me, it was like reading and finishing a book I didn't like or going to the movies and being disappointed in the way it ended. It's like closing the door and knowing that you will put the key away and never open it again. Have I regretted being done? No. I got on w/my life and all of my focus was on getting to the finish line or a divorce that he started.

Today, we do email periodically and I have spoken to him on the phone twice since 2005. The person I knew is not there any longer and quite frankly, I don't like the person he is today. He is very much into the "me, myself and I" mode and very much wants attention all of the time.

Each person will know when the time comes if they are done. It happens when you least expect it. It could be something that is said or done and it doesn't have to be a major issue for this to happen...but you will definitely know when you are done.

I hope that you are doing well and are beginning to enjoy the summer weather a bit. How is your kitty doing these days?

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.