Becoming PatientMan II - Still En-Route, Post-D

[labug]

It'll be tough but you can do it. What's your plan for dealing with your addiction. This is where people rely on hope too much. You need a plan.

My direct plan for her is the cold turkey approach. I am going to limit the amount of contact I have with her to break the dependence/addiction. This means no more hanging around the house, no more hanging out with her, limiting contact with her to kids and family topics that need to be addressed.

What I will focus on are my goals, which I listed a few out that came to mind at that moment when I wrote them in my last thread:

• Move to a larger place for me and the girls.
  
• Finish up my MBA (Dec).
  
• GAL (hopefully facilitated by the above bullet point).
  
• Get promoted.
  
• Get a larger vehicle.
  
• Go on one "excursion" a month with the girls (camping, canoeing, amusement park, etc.).
  
• Continue my one date a week with my D's (one-on-one date that rotates between the 4 of them).
  
• Make D's feel as special and loved as is humanly possible.
  
• Be an example for my girls, and for who they should look for in a mate after they grow up.
  
• Volunteer.
  
• Practice patience daily.
  
• Go to church every week.
  
• Consistently meet my nutritional and exercise goals. (No self sabotaging!)
  
• Start playing basketball again (herniated disc dependent).
  
• Connect with old friends (been trying) or make new ones (not easy/enjoyable for me).
  
• Pray more.
  
• Trust God more.
  
• Help others.
  
• Forgive XW truly and completely.
  
• Be the best version of me.

I have a small, one bedroom apartment which doesn't lend well to me following through with saying what I need to say today and walking away, so I am going to expedite the process of me moving back to the old house that we still own (well, now I own), and take the financial hit of breaking my lease to make it happen. I will be giving my tenants a 30 day notice to vacate the property, so I'll move back in August.

Space-wise, until then I'm just going to suck it up and make it happen.

So my plan is to go as cold-turkey as I can with her and focus on all these other areas of my life. Do you have any other suggestions?

Thanks labug.

-PM

Great list of goals, etc but I think you need to state in writing, what you will do when you're alone and vulnerable and want to contact your W. We've all been there. How about an accountability friend you can call who will talk you through the craving.

Another question,why do you need to send XW a message? You don't have to contact her to let her know you're not going to contact her, do you?

Sounds like you had a great time at the beach! Good.