What the...?

[lovethehub]

Funny, I came on to cry and vent and suddenly all of your posts appeared even though I have checked several times in the past two days!!

Very rough day. Spoke to one of s's doctors today and found out they want to do some tests on him that have me very worried, even though the reality is they will most likely be completely normal. Part of it is the stress and part is the danger of the actual tests. Talked to H about it after phone call and then had to leave. Accidentally said I love you, he did not reply to that. While I can appreciate what we have been through, I felt really frustrated to have to remember not to say I love you to my H

Took kids to amusement park today (h working) then they slept at grandmas. H came home a little while ago and after 2 hrs to myself to reflect on everything I was stressed. (And for some reason didnt have the benefit of anyone's advice at that point!!). I was friendly and made him some dinner then came into bed and shut the door (he is downstairs working on computer). Feel like I can't deal with his indecisiveness right now. Feel like based on doctors input at last visit I have bed too hard on my son for his "lack of maturity" (as they put it), to rush him into his next surgery (#7) that has already been pushed from next April to October. I that doesn't directly impact M or what is going on today, however, I know it impacts my behavior and I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have done him wrong in the last few weeks and it feels compounded by situation with h.

Just venting, sorry. Thanks for the great advice. I know it will make sense tomorrow.