Husband has one foot out the door!

[chasingpavements]

Am I naive to think that my H is not having an A/EA? To me, it seems, more often than not, in my situation there is another person involved, even if only EA. It seems drastic that my H's behavior changed so suddenly, and that he is not recognizable at all to me, to the person he used to be a few years ago. Is it possible he has just fallen out of love with me, and it doesn't have to do with another person? He has lost a tremendous amount of weight in the past 2 years and started dressing better.

I have asked him if there is anyone else and he swore there was no one. (this was before my DB'ing and reading the book). He said he would never do that to me,he respects me too much, he said. I have no evidence that there is another woman. For a while, my suspicions were getting to me, and I felt sure there was someone else, but there was no evidence. A few months ago, I got suspicious and questioned him why he was constantly guarding his phone, whereas he used to leave it out. He said it was since it was winter, he left it in his coat pocket. He also got a new phone at work and put a password lock on it. I asked him what the password was, and he told me I didn't need to know it, I could just use the emergency call button if I needed to make a call. I said, that's ridiculous, and he ended up giving me the password. He seems flustered if I ever want to borrow his cell phone, although perhaps I am imagining that.

Not sure if this is a big deal or not... please weigh in!! Last fall he went to lunch at a restaurant with a female coworker. I found out about it way after the fact. On his birthday, this coworker sent home a pie for my husband for his birthday. The next day, she sent home something for my children that helps them stop sucking their thumbs. As far as sending the pie home, I thought that was overstepping her boundary, and also, I had a cake I was planning on giving him for his boundary, so I felt I was competing. That was when it came out that he had lunch with this woman, and didn't tell me about it, I was so upset, for one that he didn't tell me about it, and also that he did that. As far as my boundaries, I am not comfortable with the idea of my H going for lunch with another woman. It came out in counselling that the reason he didn't tell me about the lunch was because he knew it would upset me. So.. if he knew that, why would he do it?? argggg..

Am I reading too much into all of this? I try to not worry about it too much, but it seems that so often there is someone else involved in this sort of situation. Should I be worried or not.