Well, H leaves in about 36 hours. I was feeling sad and even anxious today. Could feel that knot in the pit of my stomach.
Totally understand that, T.
I feel like there is a sort of finality in him going. Once this trip happens, it will always be a part of his life. If we have a future together, it will always be a part of our life.
Try not to have that mindset. Doesnt serve you well right now, my friend. This could be a trip he would rather forget forever.
H came up to bed this morning, kids were already starting to stir. Said he didn't get to sleep till around 3:00 am. He had bloody scratches all over him from him clawing at himself. He said the itching has been unbearable.
Um, I'm sorry, that suckks for him. Oops. Me and my mouth again. My bad.
I'm sure the sun and sand and saltwater will be great on his already incredibly dry skin. Hope FT brings some lotion!
Sounds like a good time for her, too - Not!
Somewhat distant today. Went through a texting fit at one point this evening. Got a suitcase out of the attic. I have to say, for someone who is going on a relaxing, romantic five day golf/beach vacation, he hasn't acted very excited about it. He doesn't say anything at all about it.
Yea, because it is the beginning of the end of this affair. My x held on way longer than he should have because he couldnt face the destruction and being wrong. All that is not exactly the stuff of a romantic getaway.
Because I like to get ahead of myself (as you know!) I am already dreading his return. Strange? I don't know how I'm supposed to look at him and not be sickened.
Not strange, T. Normal thinking. But you will do it. Just think about her in a bathing suit, him scratching all day and night and you having had the time of your life with your family.
I thought today was actually a pretty good day overall. I had some more deck time this evening, and painted my nails while reading my Oprah magazine. Sometimes little things can be big in improving my PMA
When saying goodnight tonight, I told H I hoped he got some sleep tonight. He said thanks - he didn't know how many more nights he could take of this - that he felt like he was starting to lose his mind.
That's not good.
Nope, not good. My x used to say the same thing. Ya know why? Because they HAVE lost their minds!
I can do it, I can get through this next week. I believe it's called letting him go with love
I know you can do it, T. Of that I have no doubt. I will be here every step of the way, rooting you on, holding your hand and praying for you..
