if it becomes too toxic for you both to stay under the same roof, and I know it can be
then ask around here for other solutions.
One idea, -Can you two rotate in/out of the house and keep the kids at home?
Either use the vacation home (too far?) or get an apartment and keep the kids in the home?
I think other folks around here will have some ideas.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016