KD, Fortunately, we maintain seperate bank accounts and households (I bought the house I live in now a few years before we started dating). So, there is no financial dependancy that ties me to this relationship. We are both successful and were established independently before marrying each other.
I love him. I do. And the good times are good and I feel loved and safe, but when he is irrational and in that state...it is becoming too much for me to take. I have been detaching from his outbursts, setting boundaries and no longer taking things personally. I recognize that his behavior has little to do with me and everything to do with his lack of coping skills and learned manipulation. Like I said, as long as he continues with counseling, I will stay in this. But, I am also making contingency plans for myself.
Bond, I had been in intense counseling for myself for my own issues, both individual and groups primarily in my early thirties, when I finally cut ties with my family. I actually hadn't gone for a few years as I had felt like I had a good handle on my life and how I approached things. But this A of his just threw me for a loop. I have been in weekly individual counseling since November of last year when I found out about it. I'm a work in progress, but I am painfully aware of my own issues that I have to work on.
