Re: Thought I Was Piecing, Now I'm Detaching III

[ThisDayForward]

I really need to start prepping myself for her become nasty and childish don't I. What can I truly do different. I guess Im going to have to force myself out of the house every night. I'm starting to spin today a little. Snapping the rubberband on my head. Catching the anxiety.

It can be hard sometimes to go home and enjoy the kids when W treats you like garbage.

[~ kd ~]

I could tell you that you should keep your PMA up. I could tell you that only YOU can feel like garbage. I could tell you to detach more. I could tell you to set boundaries.

But that would just be more of the same.

At best, you have a room mate who doesn't seem to respect you.

If she was just a room mate... not withstanding the reality that you have shared children and assets... just in this case, for a moment, set that aside...

What would you do if you had a room mate that you weren't getting along with?

[MrBond]

"I guess Im going to have to force myself out of the house every night. I'm starting to spin today a little."

Don't force yourself to do something you don't want to do. That's not the point of GAL.

"It can be hard sometimes to go home and enjoy the kids when W treats you like garbage."

Then stop putting up with it. When she started telling you to move out, you really should have done something about it and start fighting back. A turning point in my sitch was when I was driving with my W and she was just quiet and p*ssy one day. I pulled the car over and told her that I had had enough and that it was okay for her to be upset, but it wasn't okay for her to take out her frustrations on me. I then told her that the next time it happened I was going to pull the car over and kick her @$$ out. And I didn't care where it was either. Within minutes she became my old W again. It was amazing.

[MrBond]

One of the things that I mentioned awhile ago to you is that it didn't matter how much you changed because it was your W who had the attitude towards you. And that even if you did change, your W would go right back to getting angry at you because she hadn't dealt with her own issues.

Start standing up for yourself. Period.

[ThisDayForward]

Bond wasn't telling her she could go file starting to stand up for myself.

Telling her that I'm not responsible for unhappiness.

How do you suggest I stick up for myself more then I did the other night

[ThisDayForward]

KD I would ask them to move out

[MrBond]

"Bond wasn't telling her she could go file starting to stand up for myself. "

Yes it was. I was talking about the times that she outright disrespects you and starts spreading rumors about you. The problem with not addressing them is that it dirties your reputation and may come back to bite you.

[ThisDayForward]

She doesn't know that I know she is flapping her jaw to neighbors.

Right now she is at it again. Rings tucked away. She thinks by stating we are separated means we are separated. Do I fight back on that. It is redic.

When she answers the phone "what" do I start sticking up for that.

I don't know how else to get through to her that I mean business without saying you know what if you won't file I'll start the process

[MrBond]

You don't have to argue about her wanting a S. That's all on her.

But the things like the phone. You are paying for everything right? She doesn't work, correct? Why are you paying for her secret phone then?

If she complains and squawks, tell her that she can have a secret phone. You just aren't going to pay for it any longer. Start getting your legal affairs in order so she can't threaten you.

[ThisDayForward]

Well as you warned me Bond she is becoming even more silent and distant then before.