Today is the first day in a very long time that I truly feel it is OVER KD. I do feel if she starts pulling what she did last July-Dec that I might have to set a boundary I've been scared of and file and LRT.
PON, She is the only one that can make herself happy. Happiness comes from within and yes, the same would apply to you as well. No one should rely on someone else to make them happy, but we all tend to do so at one time or another.
Right now, she's frustrated and somewhat angry. It will get worse before it gets better, however, I would not even contemplate moving out of the home. If she's that darn unhappy, then she should move out. I, personally, don't see here going anywhere right now. I think she's like the little wolf in Red Riding Hood, i.e. huffing and puffing to blow your house down. She knows that she's not been able to make it so uncomfortable that you'll leave, but she's trying her best to make you feel guilty and awful about yourself and the situation. Please, please don't take what she says as gospel. She's projecting and she's like a two year old who is having hissy fits because she's not getting her way.
PON, you need to learn how to allow her bs to roll off your back and just let it go. She's going to spew and spout crap for quite some time and you can't take it personally. Why? Because it's all about them and not about you. When she spews, walk away, don't engage.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, that IS what I'm saying, PON. Many people "know" that, even before they end up in a sitch with their M. Many people remember that when they ARE in a stich with their M.
People do generally have a sense that a partner "completes" them. The reality is, a partner ADDS to them. And when there's a true synergy, the whole is greater than the sum of the parts.
I might understand what you mean by feeling your M is truly over. Remember you will still vacillate to some degree.
To be fair, I don't think you have any problem with waiting. You could do this for the rest of your life.
So when are you going to do something... REALLY different?
Thx Snodderly. Like I said I wasn't expecting Spew Sunday night and thought I handled it fairly well in the moment. It would typically escalate but I think she was taken back that I told her I wouldn't stand in her way of filing. She did say ok I just didn't want you to be surprised when you get papers etc..Or I didn't want to spring it on you.
Yes she is definitely even more detached now. Although she just txt'd me a picture of S getting haircut which she hasn't done this in 2 months. Odd as hell lol but nothing to read.
I do get anxious thinking about her cheating. Because it just seems like that is what mode she is in.
I do have trouble handling her secrecy and txting OM. Acting like she is single. It just blows my mind they think they can say "we are separated right now from this point forward". Like marriage is something you turn on and off like 2 Highschool kids breaking up every other day.
I try not to take her stuff personally. Her getting mad that I won't leave and she should stay at the house because she takes care of house everyday. Umm hello. I pay all the bills and maintain the exterior of home.
Snodderly she has been spewing for 3 years now. Just so you know this isn't a few months and im crying. We are going on year 3 of the same loop of spew.
You mentioned that you ONLY have a couple hours at night... "Not like I'm around for hours with no kids", you said... well, actually it IS like you are aroudn for hours with no kids...
If you are like me (or say jbnati), you've got enough energy to stay awake until midnight (and then some) and still get up on time to get to work in the morning.
So DO that. GET OUT for a couple hours. Even if it means taking your laptop and going to the local internet cafe and posting here.
As far as filing D? If YOU file... you can always quit the claim at a later date.
good idea. I do try to stay busy at night with kids etc. After they goto bed I tend to sit idle. I only have thursdays to myself. I plan on taking kids to vaca house this weekend.
