oh Lord FY. You handled this so well. How the heck did you stay so calm and so validating? I am SO impressed by your maturity and how much you have grown. I'm glad you feel a little better having gotten it all out into the daylight.
My H says he has been searching for those fireworks forever also. In his case, it was his GF's stepmother seducing him when he was 15. He said no other sexual experience could ever compare to the excitement of that experience, and that he has been searching for "romance" and a "soul mate" ever since. And that he has never felt romantically towards me and has never loved me.
But I don't believe him FY. He is lying for some mysterious mixed up MLC reason. And I think your W is lying for some equally mixed up MLC reason.
Didn't you and your W EVER have fireworks between you? I cannot believe that you have been married for almost 30 years, and she NEVER felt that spark. Why the heck did she stay with you then? For 30 years!!! Why didn't she hook up with your friend? Maybe I'm blind or stupid or something worse, but I still think she is re-writing everything. You sound like your emotions are such a mixture of beaten down and accepting. Don't accept it. It's all crap.
