The body language the mediator picked up on was that I did not want to be in his office. I was sitting very far back from the table at the time. He wasn't wrong. I didn't want to be in the office.
As Bond and 25 predicted she will get angrier now. She stopped wearing her rings yet again and the crickets are back.
Giving up control to god is hard for me. I can't see my W ever doing her work. I know I can't worry about that and all I can do is continue to do my work which I haven't stopped. I wish these things wouldn't spin me out so much. My W uses the D word so much it makes me ill. Sunday night was the best I've handled it in awhile saying I wouldn't stand in her way of filing.
Snodderly she truly doesn't love or like me right now. Or that is how she feels. Sometimes I teeter with opening the cage completely up to her. Filing the papers and getting the process started for her.
She makes herself sick to her stomach staying in the sitch. That is what she said Sunday night. "I can't do this anymore, I can't sit in limbo etc..
I then start to feel guilty when she says that I should leave the marital home and keep the kids where they are at. Not disrupt them.
I honestly don't know if she is MLC or Perimenapause..
I remember asking her how we got along for the last 4 months. Dating etc.. Her answer was "that is me trying but I am not one of those wifes who can stay married for the kids"
Maybe I need to disappear every night after kids goto bed. It is tough. They goto bed at 9 pm and honestly I goto bed at 11 latest. Not like I'm around for hours with no kids
Thanks for listening. Read parts of T2's sitch, don't know how he does it.
