So wonderful to have you all rallied behind me! Thank you!
Would you believe I caught a cold? So undignified to give a presentation with a stuffy nose
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Portia please do not think of it as defeat at best it is strategic withdrawal while you regroup. we have to protect our own hearts during all of this too.
When I first came on this Board I read a post on someone else's thread that said that this is not a game to be won or lost. Somehow, I have always taken that to heart. I truly believed that in opening up and contacting him via text, that would open up the door a little and invite him to initiate some contact with me. That so did not happen. Without that little effort on his part, the flame just seems to be dying.
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Portia... so sad to hear it has been that long, and a long time since you have last heard from him. Can I ask what happened the last time you did contact?
WFM, our last phone conversation was at the beginning of April. A couple of weeks ago, I initiated a text to him. He replied but was very short and uninterested. I texted again - my last shot - and he did respond. But when I responded to his question, there was no response from him, just left me hanging. That was about three weeks ago now. I have really had no desire to contact him since and it would appear that he does not want to contact me, either.
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You will know when you are done it isn't a decision it is a feeling. If it is a decision then you probably aren't done, just feeling understandably very hurt, if that makes sense?
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Portia, if you want to be done, be done. But I think you are in the mode that most of us are still...acting "as if" we are. I keep listening to the guidance from the vets that I will just know...hoping I get the "know" too.
Thank you Bea & B. You've pinned it. I feel as if I should make the decision to be done. But would I truly be done if he shows up in my life in the next while? And maybe, too, if I am honest, he seems completely done with me, so I feel I should be done with him. That I am wasting energy on someone who could care less. I will trust you Bea, I will KNOW when I am DONE.
Isn't it funny how all these "first husbands" regret their divorces? So human nature! Never learn from others mistakes, we just keep on making the same ones both on a large scale and small. When have wars ever been good? But humans keep on having them! Sometimes I wonder if we really are the evolved species we think we are. It isn't that I don't wish him happy. But I do hope he eventually learns what he has done and does regret it and feels regret. We all need those lessons to grow and I would hate to see someone who destroyed something so precious to forever be able to justify it in his head.
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Acknowledge your feelings fully. You will have a good and full life, I am sure, with your kindness and good sense.
I will because I will make it so! As I believe we all will. Life is precious and it is the little moments that can mean so much.
