You should. If there is a trait that your W liked in the OM, you want to be sure that you fulfill that. If not, then she may start to stray to someone else like that. Know your enemy.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I am curious. How would I find this out without bringing him up though? I do believe its mostly the horse thing, but that's mindreading of course
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
Yes. Big time, we talk about it a lot. I even know the lingo now. She invited me last weekend to see her ride in a show for the first time ever. She finished second and won a couple grand. I was so proud of her. I do have a genuine interest In it now
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
If you keep your ears open, you will learn what the attraction to om was for your wife.
But dont get hung up on that. And dont let the frustration that she is not all in get to you either. You can only control you.
You do what you need to do to become the best CBT you can be. Keep looking inward to see the changes you still need to make. We are all works in progress, so, we should always be striving to become better.
Lol. Thanks Urworthy. Things are going well. I've gotten a lot more patient and understanding through this. Just taking in one step at a time. I have gotten back to GALing. Had a great weekend with friends
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
CBT...well, well, well. sounds like patience, patience, patience paid off for you! GOOD JOB !!
Very happy for you.
M:46 H:49 T:20yrs myD:22 H distant summer/12 H sleeping in b'ment: Nov/12 BD: Dec 2/12 asked me begin to move end of Jan/13 moved Jan 7/13 (left my stuff) "agreed" to "working on r" Mar 3/13(lipservice!)
So I was able to ask W some of the traits that she was attracted to with OM during a conversation. We were talking about things when we first met and how those things are great, but that those "addictive feelings" disappear. I said speaking of that just curious what are some things about OM that attracted you to him. She said, he was very nice and said the right things at the right time when she needed to hear them. She liked the way he dressed. Frat boy look. Of course the fact that him and his whole family were involved in the horse show world. Those i already knew about. The two new ones and only thing she said was that she liked the fact she didn't have to pull out her card for dinner and that she liked that he wanted to be around her. But mostly she said it was the excitement. Something new. Being able leave town and not have to worry about son or house or life issues. I asked kind of like fantasy world. She said yes.
M 37 W 30 S 7 Together 10 years Married 9 years BD: 12/12/12(W filed same day) I moved to apartment 1/11/13 W and S moved to MIL 1/11/13 Peicing: 6/3/13 Reconciled: 7/2013 BD2: 4/20/16 still working on it
