Hi Highway, sorry to hear your in a similar spot, thanks for posting.
Journal
The last week hasn't been great. I haven't initiated any S and have toned down any S talk. I have however made a couple small passes with playful grabs/flirting and it appeared she got uncomfortable-that's a first.
Quote: "After BD when we were going to MC it came up that we should be doing 10 second kisses, but we didn't do it. "
Originally Posted By: MrBond Well now you know what happens when you don't follow advice. Learn and just do it. No sex or copping a feel. Just take her in your arms one day and kiss her for no reason at all. Then walk away.
I made an attempt at this and it didn't go well. We we're lying on the bed, I started kissing her but she wouldn't open her mouth.
I can't remember what was said word for word, but it went something like this...
The mood of the convo was light.
Me: I'd like to do more than just closed mouth kisses
Her: But I love our closed mouth kisses, we haven't kissed like that in a long time
Me: It wasn't that long ago Her: And then you'll put your little lizard tongue in there (referring to her dislike of how I kiss)
Me: Well maybe we should try to start from scratch, you might just like it
At this point we got interrupted by the kids. W took them downstairs to get ready as they were leaving for the morning. A few minutes later she called upstairs to say they were leaving. I called down to say "ok bye, see you in a while". She asked me to come downstairs and asked why I wouldn't see her to the door to give her a kiss goodbye. She said (kind of playfully) "what I say one thing that irks you and you get upset?". I said "no not at all, I was just getting ready".
It feels elementary talking about this ^^^^ but I think it's important.
On Friday W came into work. This was the first time she'd come into work in a couple weeks (she's been working from home so we don't have to work together). I made appts outside of the office so I didn't have to be there.
She ended up being very busy and my parents were driving her crazy. This has been an issue for a long time. My W has come to hate the line of work and working with my parents. A lot of that resentment got turned toward me.
Anyway, we met up after work for dinner with the kids and I asked her how her day went. She said "I swear that most of our issues have stemmed our work environment". I validated but reminded her that "I'm not my parents".
W is slowly transitioning to leaving the family business. She started her own unrelated business. Until then, as I said, she is working from home.
Its been nice to see each other at the end of the day and ask "how did your day go?". We haven't been able to do that since we we're married over 10 years ago.
I sent W an EBook summary of the book "Project Happily Ever After" a couple weeks ago. She hasn't read it yet.
Quote: My W just took LL quiz a couple weeks ago. When she got it she asked "do I answer based on my ideals or how I feel now". I told her to base it on her ideals.
Originally Posted By: MrBond You should have told her to base the test on how she "feels" right now. She could have always changed it after that.
She hasn't done this yet either. Last night she was telling me that she filled out an extensive quiz that tells you what dog breed is best suited for your lifestyle (she's been asking me to buy a dog lately). I said you took the time to fill out that quiz but you haven't done the 5LL quiz I asked if you could do. She said she would.
Talking about relationship with W is tricky. She gets uncomfortable when there's any sort of pressure. She never asks to speak about the relationship.
She I keep talking to her about R? We don't talk about it often. We had a good talk a few weeks ago after our bump in the road but that was the last time.
Do I talk to her further about her "attraction issues'? DO I ask her for more detail on her feelings?
We haven't had S in 2-3 weeks. I start to get very uncomfortable at this point. Its like I need it to feel validated. I yearn for it. Not just the physical act but the connection. I yearn for her to be in to me again.
Sad but true.
Despite that, I try to keep PMA and strength and confidence.
M-38 W-32 D7, S4 M-10 BD-May '12 S for 1 month-June '12 Reconcile, Piecing
